Updated: Apr 30
A phrase we hear so often but never able to fully understand or use to our advantage.
Why do we ask God for things that we know we aren't ready for? We may be asking him for some big things but may not be aware of the fear that will come with it. When I was little, I use to have dreams about me performing on stage. I would wake up singing song lyrics I didn't even write or memorize from someone else. My dream was to be a famous singer. It still is but as I've gotten close to touching that dream, I realized how much fear I had. It was August 2019 and it was time for me to do my first music video. I had planned the outfit, the location, the scenario, everything.
I though tI was ready. I thought I had waited enough and prayed enough for this moment but when it came, I froze. I got in front of the lights and the camera and was at a lost for words. I wasn't ready. I hadn't prepared enough. I felt like I threw myself out there and let fear overtake me for just that one minute. I'd often experience this same fear when in public speaking. Every now and then at my church they would call on me to read something or be apart of a program and again....the fear would come. I didn't talk to God about this fear because I was too ashamed of myself. How can I have these big dreams and had been praying about this moment but let it slip by me because I was "scared", God showed me in that moment that I had some work to do. Your talent alone can't get you anywhere without confidence and preparation. Had I been confident enough in myself and not focused on other's opinion of me, I would have nailed the scene. God had to hold me back yet again for pursuing my music career due to this fear. It wasn't that he was disappointed in me or that he wants me to fail. It's because he loves me enough to not let me further damage myself from the fear of my dream. God first had to make me understand that he does not GIVE us a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7. That's the enemies trait. God made me understand that no weapon formed against me shall prosper and in that case, fear was the weapon that was being used to shut me up and not pursue my music. Isaiah 54:17. He started to mold me and show me who I am. He showed me my flaws and told me that he loved me anyway. In spite of all my insecurities God still loved me. In spite of my sins, he still loved me. That was enough to change my confidence. He gave me strength in that time. Strength in knowing that he created me to be fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalms 139:14. He made me believe in myself again! That fear slowly but surely went away. Now days, I can't wait to get in front of a camera lol. I am the host of the InPursuit Podcast as well as a Media Personality for Tha Antidote. I am in front of a microphone and camera every week post quarantine. I was brought to the scriptures Hebrews 11:1-6. It tells us that faith is the confidence in what we hope for and assurance of what we do NOT see. It tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God. How could I have pleased God in this situation of fear? Fear and faith can't go together. The presence of fear eliminates faith. Your faith has to be strengthened so much that fear won't come near your dreams! Look at fear as if it is the enemy! Cast it away and pray that God leads you in faith to whatever it is that he is calling you to do. You got this!